Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My feet surprised me
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