That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
