why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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