i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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