I must be too annoying 4 u.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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