i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
