Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
