god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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