why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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