Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
