i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
