um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
