stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
