I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
please don't ironically join a cult
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