I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
