You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
