I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
