My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So many bounce houses so little time
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
