Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
