he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
splinters make it hard to masturbate
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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