i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
