Fuck appropriateness.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
