Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
And then he peed in my hair
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