No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
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