He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
