your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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