just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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