I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
