he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
