why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
