i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
