just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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