That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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