I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Come see our sink grown plant.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
