Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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