i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
