3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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