Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
