what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
