Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
