when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
