theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
