I wanna bring you to show and tell
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize