i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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