The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
