I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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