some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
