I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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