I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
