He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
