Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
