what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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