I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
